June 29, 2023 BIRTHDAYS
JOHN BRADSHAW 1933-2016 “Bradshaw On: The Family””Creating Love” “Homecoming: Reclaiming and championing your inner child”
N.Y.TIMES: “Mr. Bradshaw drew on his unhappy childhood as the son of an alcoholic father, his own drinking problems and his work as a counselor to develop a set of explanations for myriad psychological ills.”
SHAME IS THE ROOT OF ALL ADDICTIONS.
WE CANNOT HEAL WHAT WE CANNOT FEEL.
WE move from the illusion of certainty, to the certainty of illusion.
The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them back.
I HAVE NEVER MET AN AGGRESSIVE PERSON WHO WASN’T A FEARFUL PERSON.
TO TRULY be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.
I BELIEVE THAT THIS NEGLECTED, WOUNDED, INNER CHILD OF THE PAST IS THE MAJOR SOURCE OF HUMAN MISERY.
IT IS A MARK of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies. We are seeing what is before us.
ALL THESE FEELINGS need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry, to perspire and tremble.
TRUE LOVE HEALS AND AFFECTS SPIRITUAL GROWTH. If we do not grow because of someone else’s love, it’s generally because it is a counterfeit form of love.
SINCE the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had no way of knowing who we were.
THE DRIVENNESS IN ANY ADDICTION IS ABOUT THE RUPTURED SELF, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of the addiction, whether it is alcoholism or work, is an attempt at an intimate relationship. The workaholic with her work or the alcoholic with his booze are having a love affair. Each alters mood to avoid the feeling of loneliness and hurt in the underbelly of shame.
VIRTUE IS AN INNER STRENGTH. IT EXPANDS YOUR NATURE.
THE CAPACITY FOR LOVE THAT MAKES DOGS SUCH REWARDING COMPANIONS has a flip-side: They find it difficult to cope without us. Since we humans programmed this vulnerability, it is our responsibility, it’s our responsibility to ensure that our dogs do not suffer as a result.
CHILDREN are curious and are risk takers. they have lots of courage. they venture out into a world that is immense and dangerous. Child initially trusts life and the process of life.
EGO IS TO THE TRUE SELF WHAT A FLASHLIGHT IS TO A SPOTLIGHT.
CHILDREN need parents who model self-discipline rather than preach it. They learn from what their parents are actually willing to do; not from what they say they do.
I DEFINE A GOOD PERSON as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their shadow — they know their weakness. In order words, they understand that there is no good without bad. good and evil are really one, but we have broken them up in our consciousness. We polarize them.
THE SPIRITUAL QUEST is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination. We are spiritual beings on unearthly journey. Our spirituality makes up our beingness.
THE FOUNDATION FOR OUR SELF-IMAGE is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretakers mirroring.
MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVE SURVIVED ABUSE HAVE GREAT STRENGTH.
CHILDREN AREN’T FOOLED. They know we give time to the things we love.
EVIL is a source of moral intelligence in the sense that we need to learn from our shadow, from our dark side, in order to be good.
ANTOINE de SAINT-EXUPERY 1900-1944 “The Little Prince” “Night Flight” “The Wisdom of the Sands”
AND NOW HERE IS MY SECRET, A VERY SIMPLE SECRET; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Every person that comes into our life comes for a reason; some come to learn and others come to teach.
LOVE does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
LET YOUR DREAM DEVOUR YOU LIFE, NOT YOUR LIFE DEVOUR YOUR DREAM.
ATTITUDE IS A PAINTBRUSH. IT COLORS EVERYTHING.
REAL LOVE BEGINS WHERE NOTHING IS EXPECTED IN RETURN.
I KNOW I have one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.
TRUE LOVE is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have.
ALL grown-ups were once children . . . but only a few of them remember it.
PEACE LOVE AND PROSPERITY